Okay, sharing this feels kind of vulnerable as it's a sneak peak into my own struggles but I had a really cool tender mercy that I don't want to forget.

The times I remember growing up, my dad had a consistent 8-5pm job. Even though he was busy with lots of callings and outside demands it seemed like his job was consistent. He got the weekends and holidays off. But this is what I remember and my mom might have a different experience ;)

But I think I naturally grow up with those expectations that my husband will have the same but its been very opposite than that.
And the older I get the more I realize that most of the things in your life don't always go the way you expect it "should" go and I'm learning that, that's okay.

You would think after 4 1/2 years of Bryan working in medicine that I would be used to him coming home 2 hours after he said he was "done" or working every weekend in a month or going into work on Christmas but I still struggle with it.

On top of that struggle of him being gone, I also get a reality "slap in the face" when I vent about him coming home later than he said because the reason he is late is because someone's baby is very sick and may not make it. How do you complain after that!

I've come A LONG way since we started residency but I notice it is always a struggle for me.

Well, this year Bryan worked the whole week of Thanksgiving and the day of. I was really bummed because my family would be in town and it's so much more fun and EASIER when he is here to help with the load. Thanksgiving day also happened to be the day my friend went into labor with her full term baby that was diagnosed with trisomy 18.
Babies diagnosed with trisomy 18 don't usually make it through delivery and if they do, they don't live much longer after. So this was a scary time for my friend with a lot of unknowns.

Bryan was the one at the delivery ready to monitor the baby when she was delivered and would be taking care of them throughout the week. Bryan came home that night and told me a few things about the delivery but I didn't hear much after that.

It was 3 weeks after thanksgiving and I ran into this friend. When I saw her she started crying and told me what a tender mercy it was that Bryan was there for the delivery. She said, he was exactly who they needed at that scary time of their lives because he was so calm during the whole delivery when the baby wasn't always breathing and then assisted them and the baby to all their appts with the specialty doctors.

I couldn't help but start crying myself. The timing she told me this happened to be a moment where I was so burnt out wrangling the kids at the ward Christmas party while Bryan was working and at the moment, the spirit witnessed to me that I just don't always know what is happening while he is gone. And though the days are long and often time challenging, He is strengthening me along the way.

As I write this, I know many people who also deal with this, whether in their spouse's occupation or church calling.
I know so many family and friends who sacrifice so much of their time to volunteer for the work of the Lord. And because of that, their families also have to sacrifice along with them. And yet we may never see or hear the good that is happening but we have to trust in the Lord for strength to know this is where He needs us right now.